ballet slippers
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: When Tamaki drags Kyouya to go visit a shrine in Tokyo, will it prove to be too much for both of them?
1. Chapter 1

**Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club  
Title: ballet slippers.  
Pairing: Kyouya + Tamaki  
Rating: PG-13  
Description – When Tamaki drags Kyouya to go visit a shrine in Tokyo, will it prove to be too much for both of them? (This is dedicated to Seshat-sama and Zabby_42. I am sorry if I fail at humor, but even I think it's cute.)**

_**(Warning: This may be too sweet for some people, so please don't lynch me if you think it's too tooth-rotting. *wince*)  
**_**  
Disclaimer – Host Club doesn't belong to Yui at all. I'm just a sucker for the beautiful blond and that evil dark-haired one.**

**ballet slippers.  
By miyamoto yui**

**Chapter 1 – No sign of it.**

"NO! I'M NOT GOING!" 

PWACK!

The usually composed and even-tempered black-haired boy turned over in his bed impatiently wanting to catch some sleep. Being one who couldn't sleep well at night, he always wanted to sleep as much as he could when he did.

And there was the blond one, the one they called the 'King' of the Host Club, pouting with his hands in fists, like dog paws, on the sheets. He was clearly used to his friend's reactions that he didn't even flinch an eye when he got powerfully hit on the face with a pillow.  
He kept on pawing at the dark-haired ones shoulder, making whining sounds. "Ne. Ne, Kyouya…"  
The one named Kyouya put his pillow over his head. He viciously barked a muffled "LEAVE. ME. ALONE." with a 'I'm-going-to-torture-you-slowly-later' tone.  
"Fine. I'll go alone to hike on that mountain."

Kyouya thought he was going to finally have peace when he heard the other boy get up to leave…

…and shuffled his feet noisily on the floor.

Strangely, he took off his pillow and still had his back towards his friend. The blond stared at that deep purple pajama top with the crinkled white sheet and burgundy wine-colored comforter messily covering Kyouya's body.  
He looked like he were an ancient royalty with those colors. A cruel prince.  
Sincerely, he sighed aloud and was resolutely going to go out the door when Kyouya stubbornly commented, "If something happens to you, Tamaki..."

Tamaki's ears perked up in hope.

"…overall, profits will go down."

Tamaki's heart plunged though he showed no sign of it. He just smiled at how rational Kyouya always was. How he would never give in.  
But even through this, he ran back and put his hands on the bed. Leaning forward to his ear and smiling as best as he could, he told Kyouya a calm yet delighted "Thank you."

Kyouya remained absolutely still and quiet, but he hadn't fallen back asleep.

"I didn't know your ears turned red when you were embarrassed," Tamaki remarked aloud, marveling at the curious observation.

Kyouya covered his head again for a few more minutes before he slowly got out of bed with an excited Tamaki packing his backpack with a water bottle, an extra t-shirt, and a towel.  
Glancing at Tamaki from the mirror, he smirked and combed his hair.  
**  
+/+/+/+/+/+/+/**

On the train ride from Shinjuku at about five in the morning, Tamaki took a seat closest to the doors of train car number seven. Kyouya put the backpack in his lap and leaned over on Tamaki instantly, knowing it would be about an hour until they changed trains. When he was sleepy, he didn't care for appearances. His head was too tired to think about them.  
Tamaki looked out at window with the approaching dawn coming. Then, he looked around at the scarce amount of people around. Most were sleeping and some were just coming back from an all-night drinking session. Others emailed on their cel phones while another set of people read books or newspapers.  
So, this was what 'normal' people did. He had had to ask permission to stay two nights in Kyouya's house. Being of the Ohtori household, he got approval for the request, however, he gave as little possible information on how he would climb that mountain they were heading to.  
The only reason he wanted to go was because Haruhi mentioned that there was a shrine that was used for hundreds of years. It was on the top of Mount Mitake.  
He had something he really wanted to pray for. Hadn't that always been the reason why he went on his crazy shrine runs? He'd become a shriner out of hoping for the best from everything.

He glanced at Kyouya, who was leaning on his shoulder. Sometimes, he was glad that Kyouya, the one called the "Shadow King" could be carefree like this. This was about the closest he could come to him. Ever.

Although he felt at home with Kyouya, he always felt like he was locked out of his own 'home'.

Again, looking around, Tamaki felt many girls staring at them. He liked the attention, but he didn't want any to go to Kyouya. He felt jealous of them, thinking "I wish I could say 'You can't look! This is mine!'"

Puffing out his cheeks, he watched the steady stream of rooftops dividing the skyline. It changed sometimes to a big river and a vast green grassfield until a row of houses came back into the scene of the express Chou line train.  
It was a scene he always enjoyed whenever he had the chance to pass that way, especially the river during the day when it reflected the sun. Sometimes, you had to look away from it because its reflection of the sun on the fish scale like surface of the river was so bright. Because it was that pretty, at one point you could have hurt your eyes and you may not have cared.

When they got to a surprisingly, partly-crowded Tachikawa station, Tamaki pulled on Kyouya's sleeve to follow him onto the Ome train line. Kyouya followed behind sleepily, pushing up his glasses with his index finger.

He glanced into Tamaki's messy golden hair while feeling Tamaki grasp tightly like a kindergartner onto his blue cotton long sleeve.

**Tsuzuku… / To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club  
Title: ballet slippers.  
Pairing: Kyouya + Tamaki  
Rating: PG-13  
Description – When Tamaki drags Kyouya to go visit a shrine in Tokyo, will it prove to be too much for both of them? **  
**  
Disclaimer – Host Club doesn't belong to Yui at all. I'm just a sucker for the beautiful blond and that evil dark-haired one.**

**ballet slippers.  
By miyamoto yui**

**Chapter 2 – Relinquish.  
**  
Half an hour passed and they were in front of a map of the area leading to Mount Mitake. Impatiently, because Tamaki didn't want to wait for the bus, he confidently walked forward onto the street. Kyouya shrugged his shoulders and walked beside him on the tar road. They went down to a park and crossed a bridge until they had to go uphill for a while.

"AH! Street!" Tamaki gasped as he barely noticed the sign of 'be careful of fast cars'.  
Kyouya eyed him severely, grimacing. "It's things like this that your luck is impeccable."  
"It's not raining, right? I'm a hare otoko*!"  
"That's not the point." The one with glasses yawned as he took Tamaki's cuff to pull him quickly across the street. They walked up further up the hill and talked. Or rather, Tamaki talked and Kyouya nodded at the right places, grunting incomprehensibly but knowingly.

"I don't wanna go on the cablecar! I want to walk this!"  
Kyouya looked at his watch. It read exactly seven o'clock.  
He looked up at the cloudy, yet not rainy sky above them and around to see that there were absolutely no people around them.  
"I came here to do everything. I came here for a reason!"

Seeing that Tamaki's boyish expression was differing from his mature, serious voice, Kyouya replied just as harshly, "I'm not carrying you like last time. You were heavy. Got that?"  
Tamaki, guilt-ridden of thinking what happened on their last hike, nodded slowly. "I promise."  
"Now that that's settled, sign here for my well-being-"  
"You don't trust me."  
"Of course I do. That's why I brought it up."  
"I hate how you ruin my moments."  
"You should have let me sleep in then."  
Gravely, Tamaki looked up at the mountain. "But you're the only one I can ask to go with me 'cause everyone else is weak."

Kyouya hated himself for always saying things he shouldn't have but wouldn't let pride go to say otherwise…

"Hai hai hai!" Looking as if he were annoyed, he acted out what he always couldn't say. He linked arms with Tamaki's and dragged him up the dirty mountain path without looking at Tamaki's reaction.

When they were past the number 624, Kyouya tried to let go, but Tamaki kept on holding his upper arm with his hand, showing no sign letting go anytime soon. Kyouya wouldn't have ever thought to say "Let go of me" so he let Tamaki do what he wanted.  
"I wonder what all these numbers are here for."  
"Not all the trees have them. Interesting."  
In the mist, their faces grew dense with waterdrops. Tamaki took out his towel, but as Kyouya was going to take his out too, Tamaki patted his face.  
Kyouya's eyes looked to one side. "Arigatou."  
"Thanks for coming with me."  
But as Kyouya looked at Tamaki seriously, Tamaki got distracted and went to one edge. Being held for so long, Kyouya immediately noticed the coldness of his arm.

He had no time to think about it when he saw Tamaki spread his arms out to the sky. As long as they had been friends, Kyouya had no idea what this meant at all.

Tamaki thought it was the perfect time for singing. He 'attempted' opera.

Kyouya folded his hands over one another and tilted his head.

A crow flew away angry from the tall, tall trees.

Thank God no one was there but the trees and himself. Still, it was a good feeling. Only Tamaki could be impetuous enough to make an attempt to be one with nature because he loved it so much.  
Kyouya always wondered why he loved this world so much. It was the same one that brought them together, but also the same one that divided everyone from each other for the stupidest, most illogical reasons.

For him, clearly, there was nothing special in this world.

Only to the person who was 'singing' his "la la la's" into the greenery and fog as if they were part of a dream did he even feel an inkling of care towards. This person contained an insurmountable 'merit', as Haruhi had labeled his associations with people.

Only Tamaki made him see how insufficient he really was as a human being, even if all his attributes on the outside were flawlessly perfect.

Before he realized it, Kyouya clapped and nodded his head of approval. Tamaki beamed. That certain reaction was rare, even for Tamaki, but Kyouya cleared his throat and said nothing further as he trudged upward.  
Tamaki walked backwards and made up his own game of getting up the hiking path.  
"If you walk like this, it doesn't hurt as much," he tried to convince Kyouya with kooky ways of walking in order to make him laugh.  
"You certainly do make mundane things interesting."  
"Life's boring if you don't."  
"Sometimes, I think that I know you, but then you do something quite unpredictable."  
Tamaki poked him on the cheek, right at his dimple mark. "Isn't that why you keep me around?"

At that point, Tamaki brought out his towel again and started to pat Kyouya's hair. "The mist is getting in here too."  
"I can do it myself. Why are you always touching me?"  
"Because there will be a time when I can't." Tamaki's eyes looked to the ground as he folded his towel halfway again to place it around his neck.

"Why do you always worry that I'll leave you? I wonder why because I've promised to be your friend until we both die." Kyouya said this with a straight face, puzzled at Tamaki's sudden mood changes whenever they were together and there was no one around them to follow what they were doing.

"Someone will take you away someday," Tamaki mumbled sadly.

_I won't be the one with all your attention as I do now.  
I fear that day more than anything in this world._

"Alliances are good, but I still think that marriage is rather troublesome. Ah…It's too early in the morning for heavy things. Besides, you shouldn't have to worry too much over that."

_You don't understand this situation as well as I do. Everyone leaves. And before that happens, I usually try to be the one who leaves rather than be the one left behind.  
I've not had the intention of leaving you. I wonder why, as cheerful as you are, you always think of things like that?_

Tamaki patted his cheek lightly. Then, they walked silently for a while.

_What do you really think of being with another person for the rest of your life, I wonder…_

Stopping in front of the large ropeway for the cablecar, Tamaki took a picture in between the fog and the green and cement. Absolutely fascinated, Tamaki's face lit up like Christmas was happening over and over in front of him whenever he turned his head. The scenes before him were presents opening their treasures to him.

Kyouya observed him from a few feet away. Was it so horrible to stalk someone from short-range? It certainly required too much effort to make things look as if it were all done with ease, but inside, he couldn't turn his eyes away.  
Every moment seemed bright and photographic to him.

This particular gaze of Tamaki's was a place he had always longed for and there was no way he was going to relinquish it voluntarily.

Absolutely none.

**Tsuzuku… / To be continued…**

* Hare Otoko/Onna literally means 'sunshine boy/girl' as in whenever this person goes out for a trip or excursion, the weather's always fine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club  
Title: ballet slippers.  
Pairing: Kyouya + Tamaki  
Rating: PG-13  
Description – When Tamaki drags Kyouya to go visit a shrine in Tokyo, will it prove to be too much for both of them? **

**Disclaimer – Host Club doesn't belong to Yui at all. I'm just a sucker for the beautiful blond and that evil dark-haired one.**

**ballet slippers.  
By miyamoto yui**

**Chapter 3 – special prayers.  
**  
Taking out a camera, inconspicuously (though maybe Tamaki wouldn't have noticed anyway) Kyouya took a snapshot of Tamaki lifting up his thin arms to take a picture of the large cement structure where the cablecar stopped. But the one after it was the one that Kyouya couldn't do but hopelessly stare, forcing himself to move his numb fingers to take the shot.

The blond-haired one put his camera down and wiped his forehead with his towel, but kept on looking at the structure with half of his mouth open, like a little kid looking at a dinosaur skeleton for the first time in a museum. His eyes were so focused in amazement and purity that even Kyouya couldn't help what his lips betrayed,

"Exquisite."

In all of his life, when had he ever felt like he himself did or like his companion did at that particular moment in time?

Putting his camera away just as Tamaki turned to face him, Tamaki asked sweetly, "Did you say something, Kyouya?"

Unable to grasp his own thoughts though it would have been easier to say 'no', Kyouya shook his head from side to side trying to regain equilibrium. He took a step forward and Tamaki waited for him until he went a little bit faster out of pure enthusiasm.

There was still no one even as they made it to the 100's. And even though the weather forecast had said it would be intensely hot that day, it was still cloudy when the forest area was clearing up.

Kyouya, who had wondered what in the world why he had been dragged here for, finally inquired, "What are you going to pray for at the top?"  
"A list of special things." His answer was very short, so unlike the wordy Tamaki whenever he got energized for his own twisted goal.

Tamaki smiled even wider even though inside he wanted to gulp.

_I made a promise to myself that if got up to the top of this mountain, I would finally have the courage to change..._

Kyouya didn't ask any further, but Tamaki returned the same question and Kyouya looked down to the ground for a split-second. "Actually, I hadn't thought about it."  
"Then why are you here if you aren't here for the shrine?"

It was at that moment they heard other people's voices, both children's and the elderly.

"I can hear people!"  
"That's nice."  
"We've been all alone since the bottom of this mountain."  
"It was very quiet. I rather liked it that way."  
Tamaki turned to him. "I do too, but it's nice to see when other people do the same things you do."

_Why do you treat people with such affection?_

They were halfway up the mountain they met a bunch of grandmas and grandpas with backpacks going up the side of the mountain, which had a few houses and onsens. They hadn't expected to find a small village!

Some children said hi to them, coming down from their excursion. All this time, Kyouya just nodded his head respectfully while Tamaki grinned happily, saying "Konnichiwa" to everyone in sight, whether or not they responded.

_It doesn't matter if they answer me. All that matters is that I can smile for them._

Passing a small street with souvenirs and making their way to the gate of the shrine, they both stopped to look at the dragon on top of the cleansing booth.  
They both recognized a cute, old married couple from the train station. The grandma with a fisherman's hat commented, "Weren't they the ones at the bottom?" And her husband, patting his face with a small white towel with a blue-lined crisscross pattern replied, "Well, I'll be!" They both laughed.

Tamaki hadn't noticed at all, but stood holding the straps of his backpack proudly while Kyouya took out his camera again. "Go stand over there in the front."  
"You're taking my picture?"  
"For future references."  
Tamaki sighed inwardly though he just looked blankly at Kyouya. "Money again?"  
"What else did I come here for?"

Tamaki was trying not to react in a bad way that he pushed these negative thoughts aside. He tried to focus on the purity of being so pleased that for the first time, Kyouya asked him for a picture.  
He was in front of a shrine, so he dutifully kept his hands together. Even Kyouya's words didn't stop the dorky expression on his face.  
Click!

"Me too! Me too!"  
Strangely, without a protest, Kyouya stood on the third step from the bottom. He coughed out of embarrassment, but he didn't smile. He didn't smirk either. He showed no sign of displeasure whatsoever.

His eyes looked only towards Tamaki with a deep expression…  
…was it innocence?

Again, Kyouya had shown him something that he wouldn't have shown to anyone else in this entire world. Even when he felt disappointed by Kyouya's earlier remark, this look made up for it: Kyouya's eyes weren't exacting and his lips weren't grimacing.  
He looked like any other boy his age.

If not more hopeful.

"Did you take the picture already?" Annoyance was in his tone. People were starting to notice. He was fully awake now.

"Yes." Tamaki answered calmly and composed.  
In fact, he had taken several.

They both thought at that moment, "I hope it doesn't show anything."  
But they weren't talking about the picture taken of them, but of the one they took.

Immediately Kyouya turned around and Tamaki came up next to him to continue to walk up just a few more flights of stone.  
"Yay! We're almost at the top!"  
"It's a good climb."

Both of them reached the top in five minutes.

At the top, there were only a few people. One family was resting on benches and a girl was praying in front of the shrine. They walked over to a picture that said on a clear day, they could see Nikko from there.  
It was all cloudy and they couldn't see very far, but that was fine. They both felt great.

Tamaki went over to buy a wooden prayer writing board from the shrine attendant and Kyouya debated on whether or not to buy a protection charm. He ended up buying one and waited for Tamaki, who was sitting on a bench looking at his prayer board with much concentration.

Kyouya wouldn't write what he wanted. It was a form of evidence, but Tamaki loved such things.

He sat by Tamaki, leaning forward and looking out into the fog and some of the buildings below them. "Take your time."  
"I wonder if I'm asking for too much…I can't write it all on one board."  
Kyouya gave him a face. Typical.  
Then, seriously, Tamaki became quiet and scribbled in something as best as he could. As much as Kyouya wanted to read it, he had to give him that much respect. A prayer wasn't something that others should have known unless the one asking announced it.

When he was finished, Tamaki held it in his hands and tapped it gently on his forehead before hanging it on the wooden wall with all the other boards.

Both of them threw money and clapped two times before the shrine to pray.

Afterwards, even when they sat next to one another on a bench overlooking the souvenir shops for half an hour, they didn't say anything.

Inside, they were still praying while gazing into the fog.  
**  
Tsuzuku… / To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club  
Title: ballet slippers.  
Pairing: Kyouya + Tamaki  
Rating: PG-13  
Description – When Tamaki drags Kyouya to go visit a shrine in Tokyo, will it prove to be too much for both of them? **

**Disclaimer – Host Club doesn't belong to Yui at all. I'm just a sucker for the beautiful blond and that evil dark-haired one.**

**ballet slippers.  
By miyamoto yui**

**Chapter 4 – wanting Temptation.  
**

When they walked down the mountain, it was more eventful. There were a lot of people heading up and commented that Tamaki was jolly and didn't look tired for someone who had come from the top. Kyouya just smirked as they rushed along, walking all the way to the station, thinking but not really talking to one another.  
They luckily caught a special rapid train and made it back to Kyouya's house by midday. Since no one was home, they slept from 1pm well into early evening after a quick shower.

That's why he had invited him to come over. His dad and brothers were on business trips and his mom was giving a conference. His sister was also doing her own business ventures so he thought it was perfect that Tamaki should be there.

At least it would have felt like a real home for once.

Looking at Tamaki, who had shamelessly taken over half of his bed, Kyouya just shook his head and watched Tamaki until he too fell asleep.  
**  
+/+/+/+/+/+/+/**

When they woke up, Tamaki cracked some eggs with his wrists on a steel bowl and sang to himself while doing so. He made himself very much at home though anyone else would have shuddered at being home with Kyouya.  
Kyouya saw him bustling about, making a meal for both of them. Crossing his arms and leaning forward on the small table in the wide, white and beige kitchen, he just continued to observe Tamaki's every movement.

It seemed all he could do was look longingly at this boy who had dragged him everywhere.

In khaki shorts that clung onto his hips, Tamaki bent over to curiously open all cupboards under the sink. It was a hot summer, but even with the AC on, the red and white striped shirt that stuck onto Tamaki's chest and stomach made the room insufferable.

Kyouya's eyes, alarmed and thankful that Tamaki wasn't turning around, averted themselves away from their focus.

If there was ever a time when he cursed his luck, it was THIS MOMENT. Temptation was making him act his age and his body was repressing its natural instincts.

Temptation's name was Suoh Tamaki. He knew it now, from way before, and well into the future.

"I would give up my pride," he recalled as he blinked his eyes to feign sleepiness.  
Whether it was a prayer or an offering, he couldn't distinguish what he had made of it at the shrine.

He had never prayed like that before, never felt grateful towards anyone except his sister. But the person before him absorbed him so naturally, it was hard to separate now.

As always, he couldn't look away for too long.

Tamaki moved his arms, cooking fried eggs as best as he could. He looked over his shoulder. "Kyouya, I'm actually cooking! They won't let me do this at the house! I haven't done this since I was with my mother."  
Pinch. He was experiencing so much from the inside but used to not showing his true feelings on his face.

It was something he knew that drew him to Kyouya. They both functioned this way, whether or not they wanted to or were conscious of it, especially when they were around one another.

Tamaki always wanted to cook for Kyouya.  
He liked cooking for other people but never had time to. The only time he was only motivated to was when it involved the club.  
Because of their families, their meals were always prepared for them, so he didn't ever ask Kyouya what he liked. He just watched whatever Kyouya ate when they were at social functions. But it was too stupid to ask him, "What is your favorite food? I want to make it!"  
Even for him, that was too obvious.

He might feel repulsed by him even more. Obviously, Kyouya was already weirded out by him.

Kyouya and Tamaki brought the meal back to his room and sat around the glass table in the middle of the room. Kyouya, even with the insistence of the servants, permitted no one to touch the food or to bother them in any way.

No one was going to interrupt this moment.

They both clapped their hands to say grace and Kyouya began to eat the simple omelet before him. He took his chopsticks up to his lips and couldn't conceal his smile. Taking another bite, he closed his eyes from the taste of the maitake mushrooms, Swiss cheese, and green onion mixing with one another in his mouth.  
"Do you like it? Is it good?" Tamaki asked, blinking his eyes in anticipation. "I haven't cooked in a long time-"

"I've never had anything better in my whole life," Kyouya interrupted. He stopped to eye Tamaki, who was smugly grinning to himself and eating proudly with a gleam in his eye.

It was one of the highest compliments he'd ever had, especially from Kyouya, whom he respected and loved so much. As for Kyouya, this simple gesture moved him, even more than all the other accumulated ones he had received from Tamaki's steadfastness. He had been become immune, knowing people performed to gain some acknowledgement through his name or reputation, but Tamaki…

Not ever Tamaki. It was all just a challenge to see him smile. He knew that. He had always known, afraid of returning it…

…and giving more than Tamaki could take…

He even went as far as to think maybe he should have sent Tamaki home right after the meal.

Eating with a satisfied expression, Kyouya was unable to tell Tamaki that he'd never had a homemade dinner in his life. Everyone's expensive dishes couldn't beat what he was eating before him. Sure, it was simple and he could have probably bought it anywhere and got the best cooks at the snap of a finger, but quality was different from technique.

_Receiving someone's heart in any form was truly different, wasn't it?_

Tamaki turned on the television but didn't put it on very loud. There was an advertisement of a girl on television. She was a very popular idol who was short but had long, long hair. Her grin was supposed to comfort people while she walked along the beach.  
Kyouya was disgusted by it. Her smile was white and wide, but there was no beauty inside of it.  
It wasn't even that she looked bubbly or stupid, but that it didn't look whole-hearted.

It looked so fake.

A real smile wasn't so dull. It had so much luster you were overwhelmed by its dazzling power alone.

He turned back to Tamaki and nodded his head. "Thank you very much."  
With that, he cleared up the table as Tamaki turned off the tv.

In the kitchen, Tamaki stood beside him as he washed the dishes. "I never thought I'd see you doing domestic work."  
"Water is very soothing," Kyouya answered as he soaped each cup, plate, and pair of chopsticks carefully and thoroughly. "I didn't say I disliked doing things of this sort, did I?"  
"Well, you are a neat freak, but you said you didn't like manual labor."  
"I like things in order. Sometimes, you need to do things yourself to have them come out how you want them to."  
Smiling at Kyouya's profile, Tamaki retorted, "You can't control everything around you, you know."  
Kyouya's eye met his. "Oh yes I can."

SHH. SHH.

Tamaki was overwhelmed by the low tone and the sharp, yet warm gaze that drew out all the air inside of him. It wasn't a threat, but done in a way that instantly captured him as if Kyouya had just touched his chin and teased him blatantly.

Kyouya had never done that before…

Kyouya's eye calmly went back to looking down at the water and the dish in his hands.

**Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club  
Title: ballet slippers.  
Pairing: Kyouya + Tamaki  
Rating: PG-13  
Description – When Tamaki drags Kyouya to go visit a shrine in Tokyo, will it prove to be too much for both of them? **

**Disclaimer – Host Club doesn't belong to Yui at all. I'm just a sucker for the beautiful blond and that evil dark-haired one.**

**ballet slippers.  
By miyamoto yui**

**Chapter 5 – metallic kisses.  
**

After the scene in the kitchen, they both drifted into doing their own things within Kyouya's room. Tamaki took out a videogame system and was playing a racing game while Kyouya read a book while lying on the ground.  
So uninhibited, Tamaki didn't even look at Kyouya's direction anymore. There was Kyouya leaning to one side, holding up a book he didn't even want to read the kanji for. Kyouya's face was blocked by the book, but the curve of his slender body on the floor was enough to make Tamaki lose every single race he played.  
He couldn't even finish the whole track for that matter.

So, he gave up and fixed the system back into its proper place under the television set and walked over to the window overlooking the dark back garden.

Ten minutes later, Kyouya glanced at Tamaki, who was looking out the large window of his bedroom, and said with a seemingly irritated voice, "Just turn off the lights when you are ready to sleep."

After all, if Tamaki hadn't won a race, he didn't get past the first word of the book he was 'reading'.

Tamaki, who was not at all ashamed to push the long hours of his stay even longer, asked pleadingly, "Can I put you to sleep like I did in Kyoto, Kyouya?"

He wanted it to last just a little longer. Tomorrow, everything would go back to normal, just like when the lunchtime bell announced that the Host Club would be closed for the rest of the day. He wouldn't be able to be himself.  
Being with Kyouya was a little distressing, but he felt at most as 'himself' with him.

It was a heavy question. Kyouya's family, with the exception of his older sister of course, knew that he had a soft side for stringed instruments, but no one knew how he always yearned to hear the sound that only Tamaki could create from imagination into existence.  
Almost possessively, he always wanted to keep this magic to himself. It was always different to have a song done by many different people but the same one done by a special person…

…it was a longing that you wanted to be moved. You wanted to come out of your comatose self, awakened only to feel reality when you saw fit. Otherwise, the rest of life was just a survival game to see if you could strategize and last to the last hour of the day.

"Do as you please."  
Kyouya turned around to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth and washed his face while the blond boy's slender figure plopped onto the wide bed. He crossed his arms on the back of his bed and just waited, listening to the sound of the faucet and turning his eyes outside of the rows and rows of glass windows around him that were soon going to be blocked by curtains.  
The breeze came in gently and he closed his eyes.

If only it could be like this all the time…  
…absorbing every last moment of peace that came from just being comfortable with that special person in the room.

He wanted to open his mouth, but as Kyouya leaned on the threshold without taking a step forward, Tamaki blinked his eyes open. "I didn't know you finished already."  
"I couldn't change with my pajamas right underneath you."  
"Ah. Eh heh heh." Kyouya walked over as Tamaki got up and pulled out a keyboard from one of the huge drawers. This drawer was full of the objects in a space he occupied in Kyouya's room. It was kept neat yet only the inside of this drawer was packed with things like toys, notes, and small keychains that only Tamaki knew the meaning of and which connected to Kyouya in a loose way.  
Kyouya was not one to be sentimental. Everything had a function and a proper place, but this drawer was entirely Tamaki's. Inside, Tamaki was thrilled to occupy this small space, a little piece of chaos that made the room more 'lived in', though no one saw it or ever touched it.

No one would have ever lived to tell about it.

Tamaki glanced at Kyouya, who was pulling on up the sleeves of his pajama top, exposing his bare, yet built shoulders before they were covered.

_Why was I subtly flirting with you?_

How smoothly Kyouya always acted around him, to the point of indifference that he was in the same room changing. It made him cringe somewhere deep inside though he pretended like there was nothing out of the ordinary. They had shared the same room before, both in trips and accidentally.  
That was right, they were always together. It was only natural that Kyouya would think nothing of him but just as a friend after all.

_But couldn't you react to me once in a while?_

They were both men and their strong relationship, complementing each other in every way, to explain anything deep about one another was very reassuring indeed. It was so rare to find someone that you didn't explain everything to. You just knew from a glimpse at one another's eyes what the other thought.

Was there no other way to be MORE honest than he already was? And a way to hide what he didn't want to be honest about?

Tamaki carefully placed a thin light green blanket over the glass table and then put the keyboard over it lovingly, sweet and with extra care. He fixed the settings as Kyouya put the covers over himself. He put his glasses on the countertop of his nightstand. His eyes were fixed on Tamaki's back.

"You always take a long time to prepare."  
"You know if I don't, I won't be able to go to sleep. I'll just lie here awake."  
"You think too much."  
"Your talking is keeping me awake…"  
"Don't you want to talk to me?"

"You won't ever pay attention to me unless I play for you, won't you?"

Kyouya's eyes opened widely. Did Tamaki just say what he did? Or was he really so sleepy he just imagined it since he was weakening his guard?

There was only silence. The silence always cut in between them.

And, a distant yet painfully slow ting of the keyboard sounded. Slowly, but surely, it pulled him as the strength of the keys became louder, yet softer, blending together in sorrow and hope.

Tamaki did not sing, but his fingers said all those unspoken words. It was a feeling even deeper than any lyrics could make known to the human heart.

_Tippy toes, bleeding  
like paint marks on the  
tile floor of white.  
Dancing, with arms folding out,  
bending,  
turning,  
red  
beautifully brushed  
in metallic kisses  
upon the breakable floor._

_The violin plays and the piano attracts its sound towards it,_

_the dancer_

_jumps and circles gracefully, poised with no pain_

_As if there are no razors  
or pricks upon the  
ground that beat  
in step to the melody._

_Smiling as if_

_there is nothing wrong_

_in waiting to die  
so magically._

The tune reminded Kyouya of a ballet dancer on stage who danced her solo and yet was bleeding on stage, blood pushing through the toes of her pink slippers. Every time her toes made contact with the floor, there were dots like red rain.  
Only Tamaki could evoke an image and an emotion out of him, the things that he tried so hard to keep inside, guarded from other's eyes.

Somehow, he found himself closing his eyes tightly and holding onto his blanket, wanting more. Tamaki's playing became more demanding and gently drifted away again into the quietness of the night.

He stared at the piano wanting to cry, but the piece had already done it for him. And just as excruciatingly, Kyouya was concentrating so much on the sound that he was lost somewhere between Tamaki and himself yet not coming near enough to either being.  
**  
Tsuzuku… / To be continued…**

**10/4/2008 6:31:11 AM – LA  
10/4/08 10:31 PM - Tokyo**


End file.
